Going It Alone - Isn't so bad

When I describe myself, I often give the analogy that I'm "Alone in a crowd." I have never felt as if I belonged, always uncomfortable in my own skin. This however is the part of my life, where I really am, for the most part, alone. Within a days driving, I have no one I've called "Friend". This is hostel territory is behind enemy lines. The only adults I know, despise me. I've done a pretty good job flying below the radar over the last 20 years. I've not been the target of anyone's hate. it's only now that I realize, there are people here who now love to hate me. The same people who said, "I will never leave you" and "No matter what happens, we will always love you". The interesting thing is, that I've been sufficiently beaten down, that I don't care. I realize for what might be the first time, I'm better than that. I deserve to be treated better, and I am not going back to the days of being a victim. When it comes to life today, If I allow someone to treat me poorly, then I am a volunteer.

Been a While

Its been a few days since I've posted anything, perhaps in part because I've not had much new going on. It's amazing but even the homeless get into a routine and busy, well at least this one. Time to turn up the heat a notch or two I guess. Hopeful more later today, with some more substance. :-)

Moon over the Perimeter

The perfect moon, fills the empty sky. Out here on the perimeter, what is truth is often times not far from the lie. Reaching shadows, cast doubt along the brightly lit gravel. This is the road to nowhere, the sign screams "Dead End" as the dream unravels.

They said I need to let you go,
Turn around, detour, move on or loose your soul.
I'm just an empty reflection of the one you know.

How can anyone love me,
if I dont care for myself.
Who's going to love me,
When I don't want anyone else.