Saturday, June 8, 2013
LOST: Have You Seen Me?
Reward Offered!
Looking for that person I used to call me. If you happen to see me, I'm white 5'7 middle aged, but look older than I really am. Not sure where I was last seen, but somewhere I got away. I'm really missing me, so if you happen to come across me, returning me would be so appreciated. I've looked everywhere, even in the mirror, but I'm not there, just the empty mirror and nothing else but the wall behind, not the person I used to be.
Sunday, June 2, 2013
What is Love anyway?
The ponder of the day was, "What is Love, Anyway?" I ask this question, because truth be known, If I knew anything about Love, or what it actually means, I wouldn't have had the arms lengths list of relationships gone bad over this life time.
People say it all the time "I love You", but what does that mean? What does Love look like? We learn by example, from the time we are born, until the day we die, we all should be learning something.
I do believe there are many, who out of stubborn, self-centered, selfishness, close their minds. They are content in what they believe to be the only truth and refuse in ideas, or even that they might be wrong. But this blog is my blog, and thus the freedom to ask and ponder whatever I want, and if anyone actually reads it, that's fine with me. If however, no a single soul, takes the time to read what I've written here, it matters to me, not one bit. What I write is for me, its my outlet, the way I express myself, explore who I am, and occasionally, I'm blessed with someone contributing an idea. Mostly this blog is about growing up, and as it's called, putting big boy pants on; learning how to live.
I asked a dozen different people, what is love, and I got similar, yet somewhat different answers, nothing unexpected. I think it was my reply, in response to their answer, that left ones scratching their head. "Love, drawing from the experience of my past is:
It is so frustrating, because I have this feeling, that I think is Love, at least that's what I was told it was, but how can I know that, make the connection? From a young age, Beatings followed in the morning of, it will never happen again, "I love you." I Love you, I will marry you, until death do we part, and I bought into it. I buy into it because I want to believe. Because If what I feel for other is in fact love, I've tried to get rid of it, stuffing it into the bottom of every bottle, and yet, it was still there.
Ever drink with someone, and somewhere around 3am, they say "I love you Man?"
So If I'm going to break the cycle of bad relationships, setting my expectations and being hurt, How can I spot the real McCoy. Well first I've found there are different kinds of love. Id never given it too much thought, but there is, and so I cant lump every "I Love You" into the same group, it would be unfair and I'd be setting myself up for yet more disappointment.
Lets start with, at least in my opinion, Love cannot involve abuse, physical or emotional. One cannot tell me "I love you" and abuse me, and have me ever to believe again, its love. "You made me do it, because I love you." That's total crap. Abuse me and that's where I'll choose to draw the line today. We are not perfect, there is room for forgiveness, but a short pattern of continued abuse, and I'm all done. No matter of neediness, or fears of Abandonment. It is not worth it, I'll suck it up, feel the pain, suffer and cry, Shake my fist at the sky, what ever it takes, but I'm done. It has to be this way, or I wont break the cycle.
What I have learned is, as mentioned above there are different kinds of Love:
Eros - is the physical, sensual love between a husband and wife.
Storge - is family love, the bond among mothers, fathers, sisters and brothers.
Philia - means close friendship or brotherly love in Greek. It is one of the four types of love in the Bible.
Agape - is selfless, sacrificial, unconditional love, the highest of the four types of love in the Bible
The picture is starting to come into focus, it makes more sense now, there are different kinds of love. Though I think I could add the love, a word people miss use, or throw around, either because they want something, think its the thing to say or don't know any better. Love in my opinion, should only be used when a person means it. Now that we know the different kinds of love, how can I find what this thing called Love really is? It was then, that it occurred to me, the best description, that exists, doesn't appear in the dictionary, from the words of other men, but from God himself, through the teachings of Paul. Today, again yet another spiritual awakening for me.
First and foremost, "GOD IS LOVE", explained in the book of 1 John 4:8, I think the only entity capable of in Greek Agape. I'm not capable nor deserving of this kind of love, though only through Grace does God love us this much. I cannot comprehend this kind of love, I don't even know how to get my head around it. Nor will I, because this comes from the maker of all. I look into the night sky, and try to understand infinite, in this small finite mine, and I realize, I'm not going to even try to figure out the kind of Enormous, immeasurable love God has for all of us.
But I wanted more, I needed to see what it looked like, so I could model it. I could model this through the teachings of Christ. No, actually I cant, because he teaches "Love your neighbor as you love yourself." If I did that, I would get nowhere, even take the chance they may never speak to me again. Because if I treated them the way I feel about myself, It would be all the things I listed above, that I often apply to myself in what I were to deliver. This is about putting on big boy pants though, so I have to have a clear model of what love looks like, smells like, something I'm as a mere mortal, broken human can attempt to follow. It was then I remembered, (Back to Scripture)
1 Cor. 13:1-7
This, summed up everything, It answered all the questions, it speaks to the loose use of the word, and then explains what it really means.
What a wonderful, Spiritual Awaking day.
Thank You Lord, for another day, in your creation. If today is my last, I thank you for being so beautiful, Loving, Wonderful and Glorious. That you, the God who gives and takes away, thank you for today. If I should open my eyes tomorrow, I shall praise and thank you, for I deserve nothing you provide. I shall look to the daily miracles, you perform. (I will be clear to you the reader, the sun coming up every day, is natural, to me, a miracle is Gods intervention into the natural world, and is of Super Natural origin, but it happens every day, its all around me. It's all around you. Today is a gift. Tomorrow, belongs to him.
Today I put on perhaps just training pants, but its a start, Just for Today.
People say it all the time "I love You", but what does that mean? What does Love look like? We learn by example, from the time we are born, until the day we die, we all should be learning something.
I do believe there are many, who out of stubborn, self-centered, selfishness, close their minds. They are content in what they believe to be the only truth and refuse in ideas, or even that they might be wrong. But this blog is my blog, and thus the freedom to ask and ponder whatever I want, and if anyone actually reads it, that's fine with me. If however, no a single soul, takes the time to read what I've written here, it matters to me, not one bit. What I write is for me, its my outlet, the way I express myself, explore who I am, and occasionally, I'm blessed with someone contributing an idea. Mostly this blog is about growing up, and as it's called, putting big boy pants on; learning how to live.
I asked a dozen different people, what is love, and I got similar, yet somewhat different answers, nothing unexpected. I think it was my reply, in response to their answer, that left ones scratching their head. "Love, drawing from the experience of my past is:
- Painful
- Suffering
- Selfish
- Self Centered
- Needy
- Fear In General
- Self security
- Reassurance
- Conditional
- Lonely
- Shallow
- Over used
- Over Rated
- Manipulating
- Untrustworthy
It is so frustrating, because I have this feeling, that I think is Love, at least that's what I was told it was, but how can I know that, make the connection? From a young age, Beatings followed in the morning of, it will never happen again, "I love you." I Love you, I will marry you, until death do we part, and I bought into it. I buy into it because I want to believe. Because If what I feel for other is in fact love, I've tried to get rid of it, stuffing it into the bottom of every bottle, and yet, it was still there.
Ever drink with someone, and somewhere around 3am, they say "I love you Man?"
So If I'm going to break the cycle of bad relationships, setting my expectations and being hurt, How can I spot the real McCoy. Well first I've found there are different kinds of love. Id never given it too much thought, but there is, and so I cant lump every "I Love You" into the same group, it would be unfair and I'd be setting myself up for yet more disappointment.
Lets start with, at least in my opinion, Love cannot involve abuse, physical or emotional. One cannot tell me "I love you" and abuse me, and have me ever to believe again, its love. "You made me do it, because I love you." That's total crap. Abuse me and that's where I'll choose to draw the line today. We are not perfect, there is room for forgiveness, but a short pattern of continued abuse, and I'm all done. No matter of neediness, or fears of Abandonment. It is not worth it, I'll suck it up, feel the pain, suffer and cry, Shake my fist at the sky, what ever it takes, but I'm done. It has to be this way, or I wont break the cycle.
What I have learned is, as mentioned above there are different kinds of Love:
Eros - is the physical, sensual love between a husband and wife.
Storge - is family love, the bond among mothers, fathers, sisters and brothers.
Philia - means close friendship or brotherly love in Greek. It is one of the four types of love in the Bible.
Agape - is selfless, sacrificial, unconditional love, the highest of the four types of love in the Bible
The picture is starting to come into focus, it makes more sense now, there are different kinds of love. Though I think I could add the love, a word people miss use, or throw around, either because they want something, think its the thing to say or don't know any better. Love in my opinion, should only be used when a person means it. Now that we know the different kinds of love, how can I find what this thing called Love really is? It was then, that it occurred to me, the best description, that exists, doesn't appear in the dictionary, from the words of other men, but from God himself, through the teachings of Paul. Today, again yet another spiritual awakening for me.
First and foremost, "GOD IS LOVE", explained in the book of 1 John 4:8, I think the only entity capable of in Greek Agape. I'm not capable nor deserving of this kind of love, though only through Grace does God love us this much. I cannot comprehend this kind of love, I don't even know how to get my head around it. Nor will I, because this comes from the maker of all. I look into the night sky, and try to understand infinite, in this small finite mine, and I realize, I'm not going to even try to figure out the kind of Enormous, immeasurable love God has for all of us.
But I wanted more, I needed to see what it looked like, so I could model it. I could model this through the teachings of Christ. No, actually I cant, because he teaches "Love your neighbor as you love yourself." If I did that, I would get nowhere, even take the chance they may never speak to me again. Because if I treated them the way I feel about myself, It would be all the things I listed above, that I often apply to myself in what I were to deliver. This is about putting on big boy pants though, so I have to have a clear model of what love looks like, smells like, something I'm as a mere mortal, broken human can attempt to follow. It was then I remembered, (Back to Scripture)
1 Cor. 13:1-7
13 If I speak in the tongues[a] of men or of angels, but do not have love, I am only a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal. 2 If I have the gift of prophecy and can fathom all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have a faith that can move mountains, but do not have love, I am nothing. 3 If I give all I possess to the poor and give over my body to hardship that I may boast,[b] but do not have love, I gain nothing.
4 Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. 5 It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. 6 Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. 7 It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.This, summed up everything, It answered all the questions, it speaks to the loose use of the word, and then explains what it really means.
What a wonderful, Spiritual Awaking day.
Thank You Lord, for another day, in your creation. If today is my last, I thank you for being so beautiful, Loving, Wonderful and Glorious. That you, the God who gives and takes away, thank you for today. If I should open my eyes tomorrow, I shall praise and thank you, for I deserve nothing you provide. I shall look to the daily miracles, you perform. (I will be clear to you the reader, the sun coming up every day, is natural, to me, a miracle is Gods intervention into the natural world, and is of Super Natural origin, but it happens every day, its all around me. It's all around you. Today is a gift. Tomorrow, belongs to him.
Today I put on perhaps just training pants, but its a start, Just for Today.
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