Time

So little time and so much to learn. Youtube Red is dangerous, through the lens of others, a slant can now be cooked up by anyone with an axe to grind. Love the constitutionalist videos of how they tell off a cop, I'll just give them my license and identify myself; no jail for me.

Have a great week and if I don't write by then, have a great USA Thanksgiving.

All Work And No Play

Isn't it interesting, one mans work looks as if they are just playing. I was thinking the other night, with the change in my ability to do the IT work I used to be at the top of the ladder doing, I was a drone with a dream. It took becoming disabled in order that I might do what I love. It's a painful trade, both mentally and physically but Im amazed how much happier I am overall. I am the most comfortable in my own skin that I've been since I can remember. I think that outfitted with the basics of technology, two pelican cases and a backpack, I might even do just fine living on the street.

I have become hypersensitive when it comes to my surroundings, it has both positive and negative implications. An example is for example everyday noise. I can hear things I never could before but loud noises scare the hell out of me. When it comes to the abstract, for some reason I can see sounds more vividly. I have a red light over my desk, it's both soothing because when I look away, I can see perfectly as it doest obstruct my night vision. When I look at fine art, I see it now with a laser precision, able to view things now I could never pick out. My writing has become very flavorful as I can now smell and taste the words where before I could only imagine what they looked like.

I've really enjoyed moving my daily words from the wild west of facebook and dealing with a void of  any real conversations, here I can be all about me and not worry about anything else, like what other people think, I can just be creative. The world is my canvas onto which I can paint what ever comes to mind, in pictures or words, links to things I've viewed or pictures taken. I can eliminate any comments I dont feel like I want in my world. I have granular control how everyone is placed. I dont care if anyone reads or views anything, it's my world. Really pompous, but the truth is, wasn't that all social media is? The exception is everyone waits around for, expects and gets upset if no one, "Likes," my content. Here; who cares! The longer it sits around, the better. Thanks to search engine distribution, the more I add and links I put, the more labels added, the hight I reach when someone searches for something pertaining to any number of my rambles. Its even more exciting that blogger is owned and run by Google, all the more likely I get crawled. It's not link they dont give preference to their own blog space. Just today, I got traffic from the most bizarre places in the world. That's right, who is uncrowded and "Nation Wide," now bitches.

I will stop stroking my own ego now and get back to focusing on writing in this blog about daily reflections an on others, more specialized. The newest blog, The Glass Eye http://www.theglasseye.net is the latest undertaking, it will have personal photos and videos. It will also have links to other news and artistic worthy posts. This page will continue to contain daily rants and descriptives of what I am up to or thinking in particular, focusing more on the printed word than visual. Then there is my page dedicated more or less to my personal spiritual believes. It's easier if I compartmentalize these thoughts, avoiding one persona in falling headfirst into another.

Enjoy, who ever stumbles upon this, no matter it will be a place I can turn back and scratch my head and say, "What the heck was I talking about." It will also serve perhaps as an archive that my kids, who have long abandoned me, might come back to or stumble upon and learn who their father was and again pass judgment or perhaps read and say, "Um well he was different, but he wasn't a bad guy. They might even come to learn something about me.

Robert, Katherine, Sarah, I love you and always will. No matter if you read this or you dont, it doest really matter. It's just been a good place for me to deal with all these feeling that have no place to go, but they need to go somewhere. Here they go, out into the ether (look it up.)

FLASH

Ok thats it for now ...

Link To the Photo Collage :The Glass Eye"

See the new blog, which contains unrelated daily grind quip from the prisim of my view on life @ http://www.theglasseye.net

Thank You

Peter

By the Dawns Early Light

It was night, the traffic leaving the  campus had finally come to a crawl. A night where I would have rather stayed home, yet I knew that my ex-wife, college aged son and daughter who has refused to talk to me for over a year and his boyfriend, would all be there. They would all have lawn chairs and sitting somewhere on the Texas A&M campus. I only have my youngest, a very short time, really I should have her for the summer and every other Holiday except for spring break, which is mine every year. I already have missed her growing up most my children's lives, all because two adults couldn't do what was right and be grownups. Work together, resolve differences and work together, both doing the best they could to get buy, as now the expense of everything is one and a half time larger. Two places to live, two water, electric, rents I could make a list, but rather just get to the point. Divorce is most of the time, the most stressful, painful, dragged out deaths of a best friend and flesh and blood one can have.

Even after moving on, often one has an ex they  haven't even made enemies with yet. Mixed marriages that end up taking up what little sanity one has. You partner is stuck in the middle. They love for their children, which in my case, she has her children, her love for your, and a dark line between both. Compartmentalizing her relationship with you, from that of her children. Often leaving one to feel as if at times, they are a room mate, and have the last thing to say on any matter and it doesn't really matter at all.

Yet, I have my youngest on this Forth of July and I want her to be with her siblings to celebrate. This very well could be the last time I celebrate with her, yet It's not about me, its about her. She knew I was somewhere lost out on that campus waiting for the smoke to clear, so she knows I didn't leave her, desert her and she got to watch the same show I did, just from a different side and aisle. 

I got some good pictures and a movie and my sone called me durring the finale, so I missed that. He told me to meet him in the road. Silly me, grabbed everything and went to the road of the GIANT campus, and he wasn't there. By the time I figured out, he didn't know where I was, I missed the end. I smiled. In this last week he has started talking to me again, like nothing happened. He's given me more hugs than he has since he was a little boy. I've spent a year here waiting for this and he waits until 3 weeks before I figure I'm wasting my time and decides he wants to have a Dad again. My daughter has her Boyfriend. She's in High School, He's in College. The day I moved here, she came with him to visit me, and then never spoke to me again, and wont tell me why. I hope she doesn't regret it later, maybe she will call me when the Ice melts, perhaps I wont ever see her again. It's all up to her. 

I'm hopefully going back to the one thing that makes me happy, doing for others. people who dont want a hand out, just a hand up. Funny I need a hand up, but I dont let it bother me too much. Yet when I can make a difference in a little boy or girls life, offer them an education I never got, I radiate attitude. 

They were not Macy Day Fireworks, not even close. They were one at a time, and the show lasted 15 minutes. A good house fire, of an abandon building would have been much more exciting, especially since I was a fireman at one time. 

Strange Days. 

It was night, the traffic leaving the  campus had finally come to a crawl.