Dear Bob Evans

Dear Bob Evans Restaurants,

I want to apologize for using your bathroom facilities in Lake City, Florida but not eating at your restaurant. I realized something was wrong a full hour before stopping at your place of business. I want you to know, I attempted a stop at the Best Western, behind your establishment, but knew the moment I got out of the car, that I would never make it to their front door.

I glanced by the sign in the window that said, “Bathrooms are for Restaurant Guests Only.” Your greeter did an excellent job, “Welcome to Bob Evens; How many in your party,” she asked. I sprinted past her, shooting her a knowing look. She smiled, which I interpreted as, “Sir, the bathroom rule doesn’t apply to you, I can see you have a major emergency.” It's was a near religious experience Mr. Evans, I was trotting as I asked to God that I might make it to the stall. I abandoned the thought that I might add to my prayer the toilet be clean, at this point I didn't care.

Mr. Evans, I'm sorry if I caused any loss of business to your fine chain, I imagine anyone entering the men's room after my visit, had loss of appetite. If I can make it up to you by recommending to all of my family and friends, that they please frequent your eatery, I will do so.

A Grateful,

Peter Solomon